On Valentine's Day this year, I decided not to stay at home and work. I have done that in the past couple of years, and it resulted in bitter feelings in my soul.
Usually, instead of focusing on work, I would constantly check social media and see people post flowers, chocolates, and sweet messages for their significant others.
As much as I consoled myself that it was okay, I knew that this year, I would still lament over the fact that I've been single for 25 consecutive years.
So, I hatched the plan to go to Tagbilaran and take myself on a date in disguise to request my brother's Birth Certificate at the PSA office—my mother has been asking me to do that for two months already.
I woke up at 7:30, and just like every day, I tried to have a quiet time with God. I was talking with Him about my lack of love life on this most romantic day of the year and asking Him for patience in my waiting season.
I also searched for information about the Catholic roots of Valentine's Day. I learned it is the feast day of a bishop named Valentine, who was martyred for marrying Christian couples in the 3rd century, which was against the emperor's decree during the Roman Empire, because Roman Emperor Claudius II believed that unmarried men made better soldiers because they had no families to worry about.
After that, I ate and put on the cutest outfit I have: denim shorts, a white crop-topped t-shirt, and my favorite brown ankle boots.
I rode the bus for almost 3 hours while feeling like I was the main character of a romantic movie. I was looking through the window of the bus while wearing my earphones, listening to my favorite soul-touching OPM. I eventually slept halfway through the trip while Arthur Nery was reassuring me na isa lang, isa lang, isa lang talaga ang hinahanap nya. LOL!
When I arrived in the city, my fantasy was broken. It was scorching hot, and my sweat was clinging to my shirt.
I went inside the office to request the document, and it took me two boring hours to finish. The only good thing about that four-walled room was that it was air-conditioned, so everyone was comfortable.
When I was done, I went out of the building and looked around the area. The street was bustling with vehicles of different shapes, sizes, and colors.
Since it was only almost 3 p.m., no one was walking around. I could see it was only me on the side of the road. And just like a lightning flash without thunder, my anxiety started to spike. I felt goosebumps throughout my body. My hands started to shake. I didn't want to do it today, not on Hearts Day, but I had no choice. The universe didn't care if I was already feeling lonely or not. I had to face it, I had to conquer one of the biggest fears I have in life: CROSSING THE STREET ALONE.
I grew up in a rural area, so that must have been the reason why I’ve always been afraid of this small act. I make sure to always do it with people, with strangers, but during this time, no one was there, so I took a deep breath and gathered some scrap of confidence I had hidden in my pocket for moments like this.
There were probably seven to ten vehicles coming towards the lanes I was about to cross: a tricycle, two motorcycles, three sedans that were a little bit far away, and an SUV that was so slow.
I calculated everything in my mind, and according to my brain, I would safely get to the other side because the vehicles were at a reasonable distance.
With my heart in my throat, I started crossing. I felt like my soul was outside my body, but I successfully crossed the first lane. And as I was probably a quarter through the second one, I looked to my right and my heart suddenly dropped to my stomach. I saw a 6-wheeler truck appear out of nowhere and was overtaking the SUV.
It was running very fast in my direction!
I saw it coming towards me at probably 60 kilometers per hour, and I was sure the driver didn't see me!
I don't know how and why but a part of my brain suddenly froze and spun at the same time. In a split second, I was thinking of stopping or running faster. I thought if I stopped, I would not be smacked because I was still not on the second lane (but I didn't know for sure because I didn't have time to look down), but the other part of me knew that I would be dead if I did.
I couldn't explain it, but maybe because it was divine intervention. I’m sure my guardian angel dragged my feet and brought me safely to the rough patch of grass on the side.
The nanosecond my body was on the side of the road, the truck whirled past me.
DANG, I WAS ALMOST HIT BY A TRUCK!
Shockkkksss!!!!!
At that time, I just wanted to bend my knee on the ground and cry. I was saying in my head, "Lord Jesus, thank you! Mama Mary, thank you! My guardian angel, I'm sorry, and thank you."
I was shaking, but I didn't stop walking. I rode a tricycle to my dentist's appointment, but I couldn't stop banging my hand against my head.
I ALMOST DIED ON A VALENTINE'S DAY!
People would probably think it was suicide. Huhuhu.
I almost died seeing how it happened.
I almost died while wearing boots, and the people at the mall next to that street were having dates with their partners.
What a sad day and way to die!
After adjusting my dental braces, I bought some sunscreen, ate dinner alone, and rode the same bus to go home.
A lot of people were waiting for the bus, maybe because it was Friday and everyone wanted to go back to their hometown for the weekend.
Some of them were holding flowers and chocolates, and a few of them were with their significant others.
I wanted to feel sad, you know, just to feel something, but I couldn't. My mind still went back to the moment that I almost got crushed by a truck.
I might not have a boyfriend, but the fact that I was still alive was a huge blessing.
So, instead, I prayed and thanked God for my life, for my parents' good marriage, for my oldest sister and her husband's future baby, for my second sister's relationship with her boyfriend, and for my brothers' future lives.
I know that if God really calls me to the vocation of holy matrimony, he will send me someone someday.
I arrived home at 9:30 p.m., and to end my adventure on Valentine's Day, I watched episode 7 of Ang Mutya ng Section E. I think I don't need to explain why I screamed, felt kilig, and smiled before I went to bed.
Tanong nga ni Yuri, "Jay, nagka-boyfriend kana ba?"
Well, Yuri, I am not Jayjay, and I never had a boyfriend, but I'm glad to be still alive on this fine Friday that happened to be Valentine's Day.
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