I really wanted to write this over a year ago. I was at that point in my life when I was so lost. I graduated, got my license, and was accepted in my first job, just to become jobless months after because of COVID.
I tried to think out of the box and applied for jobs which aren't in line with my field, but then again I failed.
Nothing seemed to work out on my side.
So I returned to the same place where I used to do part-time work years back, and YES I was earning a little, I was not asking my parents for money, and I was independent but I was not contented.
I always compared myself to my classmates and contemporaries who had been working and who seemed so happy based on their stories on social media.
I got so insecure and I felt like I was left behind.
People were dying because of COVID at this moment but I was hyperfocused on myself.
And this was when the poison of ungratefulness started to run through my veins, delivering negative thoughts to my mind, and feeding bitter emotions to my heart.
I was working but my whole heart wasn't in it. I was questioning my abilities, my talent, my potential, my pride, and my God.
I asked Him almost every night what were His plans for me or even if He had one, but He never answered.
I tried to find the answer on Google, on YouTube, and in my books but I found nothing.
One day after what seemed like an eternity, I finally tried to open His book and found what I was looking for through His words (the Bible). He made me realize that He has good plans for me in the future, I might not know it now but He always has (Jeremiah 29:11).
So I decided to stop whining and hold myself together. I started deepening my Catholic faith. I cherished the moments I had with the amazing people around me.
I read a lot. I laughed a lot.
And that was the moment when the poison started to ooze out of my system, gradually replaced by the elixir of life that only He could provide.
So now, looking back and reminiscing what happened in the past year, I realized I was not left behind. I was where I was supposed to be because God was preparing me for what I have now.
I am now beyond blessed to work a job that I never imagined I would have a year ago. A job that fills my heart and soul with so much happiness I sometimes cry because I can't believe He has given it to me.
To everyone who has been doubting himself/herself, specifically to YOU who is feeling behind everything, hold on and have faith in Him. YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE NOW. Enjoy this moment and use this time to be closer to Him and develop your potential and talents.
God has plans for you. You are never forgotten.
Life Goes On 
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